Ye baat tab ki hai jab main high school mein tha, Bhubaneswar ke KISS school mein.
Us waqt main padhai mein achha tha aur class ka ek achha bachcha maana jaata tha. Achha matlab itna bhi achha nahi ki first aata tha, lekin class mein jo bhi padhaya jaata tha, main dhyan dekar sunta tha. Teachers jo bhi homework dete the, main sab karta tha aur unki har baat maanta tha. Doosre ladkon ki tarah class mein baatein karna, shor-sharaba karna ya masti karna mujhe pasand nahi tha. Main chupchaap baitha rehta tha.
Us waqt meri koi behen nahi thi. Hum sirf teen bhai the. Mera surname Murmu hai aur ek ladki ka bhi surname Murmu tha. Hamare community mein ek hi surname/caste ke log ek-doosre ko bhai-behen maante hain, isliye maine use apni behen maan liya tha. Woh mujhe Rakhi bhi baandhti thi. Us waqt main padhai mein achha tha, isliye class ki ladkiyan mujhse kabhi-kabhi poochti thi, "Roj khana khaye ho?" ya "Notes wagairah bana liye?" Main sirf unke sawaal ka jawab deta tha, jitna poocha jaata tha utna hi. Uske alawa main khud se koi extra baat nahi karta tha. Na main kisi ladki se baat shuru karta tha aur na hi kisi ke saath flirting karta tha. Isliye sab mujhe ek achha aur seedha ladka hi samajhte the.
Ek din hostel mein hamare class ke bahut saare bachche baithe the. Unhone mujhe chidhate hue kaha, "Tere se kitni ladkiyan baat karna chahti hain, aur tu hai ki baat hi nahi karta. Hum hote to pata nahi kitni ladkiyon ko pata liya hota!" Phir mujhse poocha gaya, "Tujhe hamari class mein koi ladki achhi lagti hai?"
Maine kaha, "Nahi, koi nahi."
Woh bole, "Aisa kaise ho sakta hai? Koi toh achhi lagti hogi. Tu humse chhupa raha hai. Jo bhi achhi lage, usse bol de ki tu usse pyaar karta hai. Haan kar degi, tujhe kaun mana karega?"
Ek ladke ne mazaak mein kaha, "Ye kya propose karega? Isne abhi tak kisi ladki se dhang se baat tak nahi ki hai!"
Sab log mera mazaak udaane lage. Maine bhi unki baat thodi dil par le li. Maine socha, "Chalo, dikha dete hain ki hum bhi propose kar sakte hain." Lekin saamne jaakar propose karne ki meri himmat nahi thi, kyunki jis ladki ko main propose karne wala tha, usse maine kabhi dhang se baat hi nahi ki thi. Phir mere dimaag mein idea aaya ki letter likh dete hain. Class mein jo ladki mujhe sabse sundar lagti thi aur jo hamare hi community ki thi, maine use letter likhne ka socha. Bahut soch-samajh kar maine letter likha. Us samay na mobile tha aur na ChatGPT. Jo bhi likhte the, apne dimaag se hi likhte the. Aajkal toh bahut saare tools aa gaye hain. Khair, apni story par wapas aate hain.
Letter toh maine likh diya, lekin use khud dene ki meri himmat nahi hui. Isliye maine ek dost se kaha, "Ye letter us ladki ko de dena." Woh ladka class ki lagbhag sabhi ladkiyon se baat karta tha aur sab use jaante the. Usne letter lekar us ladki ko de diya. Ladki ne letter lekar apne hostel ke room mein jaakar apni roommate se kaha, "Ismein kya likha hai, zara padhkar batao." Uski roommate ne letter padh liya aur phir dono uska mazaak udaane lagi. Woh ladki ko chidhane lagi. Ye dekhkar woh ladki ro padi aur boli ki woh Monday ko class mein ma'am ko sab bata degi.
Maine jis din letter bheja tha, woh Saturday tha, school ki chhutti hone ke baad. Woh dost mere paas aaya aur bola, "Aisa-aise ho gaya hai. Ab tu gaya! Woh Monday ko ma'am ko batane wali hai." Main poori tarah darr gaya. Maine kabhi nahi socha tha ki mazaak-mazaak mein diya hua letter itna serious ho jayega. Lekin mere paas Sunday ka ek din tha, kyunki woh Monday ko ma'am ko batane wali thi.
Ghar mein hum TV par movies dekha karte the. Un movies se thoda inspiration lekar mere dimaag mein ek aur ajeeb idea aaya. Maine ek naya blade liya aur socha ki haath par chhota sa cut lagaunga, taaki use dikha sakun ki main usse kitna pyaar karta hoon. Waise sach kahun toh woh koi asli pyaar nahi tha. Main bas apne doston ko prove karna chahta tha ki main serious hoon. Mujhe laga ki bina proof ke woh kaise yakeen karegi? Main blade lekar toilet mein gaya. Haath par cut lagane ki koshish kar raha tha, lekin darr ki wajah se kar nahi paa raha tha. Bahut der tak main bas blade ko haath par upar-upar se touch karta raha.
Phir maine socha, "Agar real dikhana hai toh cut toh karna hi padega." Maine aankhen band ki aur finally haath par ek chhota sa cut laga diya. Lekin khoon hi nahi nikla! Bas ek boond jaisa thoda sa khoon nikla. Movies mein toh bahut zyada khoon nikalta hua dekha tha, lekin mera toh kuch hua hi nahi. Uske baad main us jagah ko haath se press karne laga, taaki thoda aur khoon nikle. Aakhir mein thoda sa khoon nikla. Maine socha, "Ab aur nahi hoga. Itne se hi kaam chalana padega."
Maine ek kapde se haath bandh diya. Phir mere dimaag mein ek aur idea aaya - khana nahi khaunga. Bhooka rahunga, taaki main bol sakun, "Tere liye maine khana bhi nahi khaya." Main jhooth bhi bol sakta tha ki maine khana nahi khaya, jabki andar se khana kha leta. Lekin agar koi ladka sach bata deta ki maine khana khaya hai toh meri baat jhoothi sabit ho jaati. Isliye maine sach mein us raat khana nahi khaya aur agle din subah bhi nahi khaya.
Phir maine ek dost se kaha, "Chal, ladkiyon ke hostel chalte hain. Tu us ladki se baat karna aur use batana ki maine khana bhi nahi khaya hai. Main use bahut zyada chahta hoon. Tu use samjha dena ki ma'am ko na bataye. Agar woh mujhe pasand nahi karti hai toh koi baat nahi, lekin ma'am ko mat bataye."
Hum dono ladkiyon ke hostel ke paas gaye. Mere dost ne class ki ek ladki se kaha ki woh hostel ke andar jaakar us ladki ko bula laaye. Lekin woh ladki nahi aayi. Meri woh behen aa gayi, jise main apni behen maanta tha. Mere dost ne poocha, "Woh nahi aayi?"
Meri behen ne kaha, "Usne mana kiya hai aane ke liye. Batao, kya baat hai?"
Mere dost ne use sab kuch bataya aur kaha ki woh us ladki ko samjha de ki ma'am ko kuch na bataye. Lekin mere dost ne haath kaatne wali baat use nahi batayi. Sirf itna bataya ki maine khana nahi khaya hai. Main bas wahan khada hua sab sun raha tha. Main chup tha. Meri behen ko bahut gussa aa gaya. Usne kaha, "Khana nahi khaya? Achha hai, bhookha hi marne do! Ladki ke liye khana nahi khayega? Ghar wale tumhe padhne ke liye bheje hain ya pyaar karne ke liye? Ma'am ko bata degi woh ladki. Tabhi isko akal aayegi." Itna bolkar woh chali gayi.
Maine apne dost se kaha, "Tumhe haath kaatne wali baat bhi batani chahiye thi. Tabhi toh use thodi daya aati. Tumne kyun nahi bataya?"
Mere dost ne kaha, "Tumne dekha nahi, woh kitni gusse mein thi? Agar use haath kaatne wali baat pata chal jaati toh pata nahi woh tumhare upar haath bhi utha sakti thi. Isliye nahi bataya."
Phir hum wahan se wapas aa gaye. Mere dost ne kaha, "Tere bachne ka ab ek hi upay hai. Uske bhai ko bata de. Woh agar use samjhayega toh shayad woh maan jayegi. Warna tera bachna mushkil hai. Aur koi raasta nahi hai." Uski baat sahi lagi. Uski bhai se mera matlab ek aur dost tha, jisne us ladki ko apni behen maana hua tha aur woh ladki use Rakhi bhi baandhti thi. Mere dost ko ye sab baat pata nahi thi. Humne use sab kuch bataya. Woh sunkar ekdum shocked ho gaya.
Usne kaha, "Kya kar diya tune? Tu toh itna achha ladka tha! Tere dimaag mein ye sab khayal kahan se aa gaye? Main toh tumhe achhe se jaanta hoon. Tu aisa nahi hai."
Maine kaha, "Galti ho gayi mujhse. Doston ke chidhane aur behkaane mein aakar maine ye sab kar diya. Ab tum hi mujhe is case se bacha sakte ho."
Usne kaha, "Theek hai. Main usse samjhata hoon. Dekhte hain kya hota hai."
Woh apni behen ke paas gaya aur apni behen se kaha, "Mujhe pata nahi tha ki isne ye sab kand kiya hai. Jab pata chala toh humne ise bahut daanta aur maar bhi diya bahut samjhaya. Ye ro raha hai, maafi maang raha hai. Maaf kar de ise. Ye hamare class ka hi ladka hai aur tu bhi ise jaanti hai. Ye aisa nahi hai. Doston ke behkaave mein aakar isne ye sab kar diya. Warna ye achha bachcha hai. Ma'am ko pata chalega toh bekaar mein isko tension hogi aur iska image bhi kharab ho jayega. Is baar maaf kar de. Humne ise samjha diya hai. Ye dobara kabhi aisa nahi karega."
Aakhir mein uski behen maan gayi aur usne ma'am ko kuch bhi nahi bataya.
Mera dost mere paas aaya aur bola, "Baach gaya tu! Abhi party de. Itne bade case se nikal gaya hai. Warna agar tere ghar walon ko pata chal jaata toh pata nahi tera kya hota!"
Maine kaha, "Theek hai, dunga. Jo maangoge, dunga. Itni badi problem se mujhe bahar nikala hai."
Isi tarah main us din bach gaya. Warna us waqt kya hota, pata nahi. Lekin is kahani mein asli twist toh iske kuch mahine baad aaya. Kuch mahine baad pata chala ki jis dost ne meri itni help ki thi, woh aur main actually relatives hain! Parents' meeting mein jab maine us dost ko apne papa se milaya aur papa ne uski details poochhi, tab pata chala ki hum dono relatives hain. Humein pehle pata hi nahi tha. Hum bas dost the.
Aur sabse funny baat ye thi ki jis ladki ko maine propose kiya tha, woh us dost ki behen thi. Matlab rishton ke hisaab se woh ladki mujhe "Kaka" bulayegi!
Aaj jab bhi main ye incident yaad karta hoon toh mujhe khud par hasi aati hai. Main sochta hoon high school mein maine ye sab kya kar diya tha? Kabhi-kabhi toh mujhe khud ajeeb lagta hai ki "Kya sach mein ye sab karne wala ladka main hi tha?" Aaj peeche mudkar dekhta hoon toh lagta hai ki us waqt main kitna bachcha tha. Doston ke mazaak ko dil par lekar maine kya-kya kar diya tha. Aur sabse bada twist toh ye tha ki jise impress karne ke chakkar mein main itna bada drama kar raha tha, woh aage chal kar mujhe "Kaka" bolne wali thi! 😂
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